so i am starting slowly to deal with a big fear in my life..the gosh darned dentist...one would think with the size of fear i have i would treat my mouth better but i do not...but...this came up in a serious talk with the girlfriend...one of those make or break it talks and she said it is hard to be with someone who does not seem to care about themselves...and i agree, and i agreed....being single for a great deal of my life i have fallen into many bad habits....so i made the appointment and went and feared and fretted...and am making further appointments for further work on the inside of my face and i will fear more then, but these last 2 days off i smooshed the fear down with beer and beer. the gf came over last night but she said she had a cold and pretty much just rolled herself in a blanket and plopped down on my bed. i just happened to want some sort of attention....and i did fret a bit...but she wasn't taking any hints....she fell asleep for about 20 minutes and then sat bolt upright and asked the time and said she had to go, though i told her she had been there less than an hour....but..she being her...asked if i was going to walk her to the door and my inside upset told me no so my lips also said no, she said she loved me and i said "yeah"....and then she left....and the rest of the night i tried to sleep with fitful restlessness, thinking too much over and over about why she did this, why she did not do that....and came to no conclusion but bitterness..and i slept with bitterness...
in the morning she texted that she had called in sick to work, i called and her momma told me she was in bed....and yeah i felt bad....
and this is my life these days.....
do you want it?
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