so we confide in friends for many reasons..sometimes just to bitch, sometimes just to kill the boredom. i had been for a long time now telling the problems i have with my girlfriend to a friend, let's call him gus. and he gives me good advice and knows sometimes i am just talking to get it out of me...but the other day i went drinking with him and andy and candice and mg at hollingsheads.....and i think i brought her up, telling an anecdote..and gus was right up my ass about her, about me not getting laid etc....and this was in front of the whole group and of course i laughed it off....but it has bothered me since...and i am not sure to do with this lump of shit in my hand......when you tell a friend things about your personal life....you do not expect them to be thrown back at you in anger in front of a group of people....even if they are friends..it is as if you are being belittled by those you love surrounded by those you love and it kind of paralyzed me...

and yes i am sure it will pass, he will forget about it and i wont, i will just have to be smarter and confide less i suppose...if i do not want thing thrown back at me in that manner then the best thing to do rather than to trust someone not to is to never tell them in the first place...this of course compromises a friendship..one that you hope you could confide anything to..but there is the rub.....and so on ad nauseum...

on a better note, i am babysitting for my girlfriend, her and my mom are at the goddamned sugar fairy snow baby laura ashley plum festival.....chicken run is on, i have just finished my starbucks and the window is letting cold air into me....

life could be better, and then life could be worse...

sometimes we need to keep things to ourselves...but how do we do that when we are not that sort, when we need dialogue to survive?