Monday, November 15, 2010

i've been out walking and
i don't do too much talking these days

looking at my earlier posts one would think i was dissatisfied with my current relationship and my life.

i am sitting on the floor at work, zach is in the bathroom brushing his teeth. he is gonna go to bed in maybe an hour or less. he is watching a disney video and i am watching family guy.

i have been thinking about going on a trip soon. i know i am going with diana to sf in january and in april i am visiting ethan in portland......but i am itching for a hotel somewhere far enough away that has a bar near and air conditioning...

sometimes when people are unsure about their future they feel exhilaration about having the whole world open to them...of having no restrictions on their life........and me.....i feel it in a sad way....my stomach hurts when i think about my future.....i get sad because i just don't know what will happen..i wish it were more certain..part of me wishes diana would somehow magically comfort me in the knowledge that we will in fact work out together...i want her to take charge that way...i am  not a man who minds too much being told what to do...

i want a woman who will treat me nicely......let me have a nice beer cellar....leave me alone sometimes and make me feel desired....

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