i asked her to take thursday off.......today she called and said she could not ...she had meetings and appointments for her kids that she needed to use that time off for.....but she said she could come by thursday night......

so...thursday night...i need courage....to do what i should...what if she turns on the tenderness...what if she thrusts forth her ample breasts..i am a stupid man of course....would i be a cad if we had sex and then i broke up with her?..or would that be my only way of getting some sort of immature cosmic revenge ?.......call me flawed..call me an asshole..call me a chauvinist and you would all be right...but a big part of me is angry at how little effort she made to, for lack of a better word, meet my needs....

i am working right now and get off tomorrow at 7:30 am then come back at 2pm then work until 10pm then am off until friday at 2pm....whacky schedule i know...

thursday.......thursday.......we will see