CANCEL CANCEL

cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. there is a small and building rage in me.cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, my girlfriend pays me no attention cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i feel so goddamned wronged but also feel like a whiny bitch. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i drowned myself in the relationship when things were wonderful and now without the wonderful i am without myself.cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, she is the busiest woman in the world. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i am not dreaming or making this shit up. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, and fucking stupid me does not want to be alone (as if i am not alone now) cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, and fucking stupid me does not want to leave because she had told me before that i am her rock, and i don't want her to be alone with her kids and no one to help. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, if i am her rock then why does she treat me like an umm..rock? cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i have not felt good about myself in more than a year. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, i feel like i am wasting my life away. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, i am not centered, no fucking way near it. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i already have low self esteem and depression and this relationship is exponentially making me feel fucked up. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, she acts as though nothing is wrong. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, she rarely addresses the issues i bring up. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, she treats me like just another one of the things she has to deal with. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, she told me before she feels like i am like one of her kids she has to deal with all of my needs. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i hardly ever see her. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, about 2 hours a week if that. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, this new year i have seen her maybe 4 times, once for dinner, once for scrabble and the other two times she came over and fell asleep. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. a man can only politely hint his woman towards the bedroom and get turned down so many times before it takes a horrible toll on him. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, she told me before she hates it when i initiate sex...how is that for a esteem lifter? cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, and noooo it is not her job to make me happy but it sure as fuck is not her job to keep me horribly sad and lonely. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i do not know what joy is. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, she has no control over me but she has control over me. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i control nothing now. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, unlucky unfun, unhappy undone, unfucked. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, things fix themselves never fix themselves. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, self degradation. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i am in a foul as fuck mood, my girlfriend seems to not know i exist....there is no desire in her...when she cannot see me there is no regret in her voice cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i feel not like a tabula rasa but like a mute slate, a slate with so many scribbles over it one can no longer see what it started out saying. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i sleep all day. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i am even bored of drinking. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, i cannot think of good things to say about myself. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, so many of my friends have kids and are having kids. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, i have wanted kids for so long. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, for so long cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i thought it might work with this one. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, first she said yes then she said maybe then she said no. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i feel cancelled. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i feel like such a boring person. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i feel inept. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i feel emotionless. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, what do we do to ourselves when we feel like this? cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. we watch tv, drink beer, sleep all day. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i could say now that i am no longer a fan of love..and i would be telling a half truth. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. my god the love poetry i used to write. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, my god the happysad butterflies inside of me when i swooned, unswooned. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, and what i wrote was pretty, it made me feel good. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i haven't written in so long. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i can no longer trust myself to rise to a relationship. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, the less i care about how others see me the less i take care of myself and i become something disgusting. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i miss san francisco. that was the last time i felt like i had a self. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, ego ego ego ego go go go go cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, reformat the soul, eviscerate the memory. cancel cancel, shut down and hopefully come back up. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, start sucking homeless black dick underneath the bridge for tunafish. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, take an awful lot of drugs been there done that. oh self loathing. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, what do we do with ourselves?.do we start collecting stamps again?....drink to oblivion? cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, do we read a lot more? cancel cancel, cancel cancel. go back to school? cancel cancel, cancel cancel, finish what we started? cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, eat toast in the morning earlyearly and read the newspaper? cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. start saving money not because your girlfriend wants to get married but because you just should have money in savings. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, oh you cancelling cancellers. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i don't even feel like cleaning my room. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, why on earth would i buy you a ring when this is how you make me feel?...i don't give a shit that you are tired of waiting.....cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i don't want to hate you. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i don't want to fantasize your death in so many different ways. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i don't want to only think ill of you. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. oh i only want you to be happy but how can happiness be being married to someone you pay no attention to? cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, what would you be without me?.the same exact thing you are now..a woman who pays 100% attention and effort to her children to the detriment of everything around her. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i am not that white knight who swoops in and saves the day. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i cannot be that person. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel.though once i wanted to....i thought it would be a wonderful tradeoff..you love me dearly and i love you dearly... cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. but love became just a word we said to one another at the end of a conversation. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, she is practical to the point of impracticability. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i cannot see anyone being prepared for a relationship like that. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, they would have to be selfless to the point of invisibility. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, and she just doesn't seem to get it. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. she wants to put zero effort into the relationship. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, she wants no problems, wants it to be easy. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, excuses and reasons, reasons and cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, excuses. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, oh anger, oh angry angry anger. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i feel as though my time and my heart has been wasted cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, so much scar tissue on this heart. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, fail better. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, oh sorry sorry sorry heart, sad weeping thing. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i miss caring about things. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. i miss weeping for happiness. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, i miss being wanted, i miss having someone adore my cock. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i miss giving someone pleasure with my mouth and knowing it is not a passing thing. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i miss innocence. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, i miss sitting through a valentines dinner and feeling like you are really happy to be there. cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, oh you horribly canceling thing of ugliness, you sad bastard, you pitiful small unfun person. cancel cancel. cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel.  cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel, cancel cancel.