one month no lexapro

is this really about the lack of lexapro in my life or the lack of life in my life?..does one cause the other?...does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body, i dunno...../smiths.

my birthday was a few days ago and...this whole month i seemed to be doing happy things with happy friends and it continues,...and it has helped a lot...just being out of the house whether with friends or with momma....or by myself....this fucking house.....but yeah....me....there is still a lot of beer involved in my days....

i nap..i jack off...i stare at things...still...i am stuck still...but not as goddamned sad....but nowhere near happy...i think i need the touch of another human .....the affirmation of having worthwhile or maybe god forbid even desirable flesh.........let alone the "fast st's" i could use...my grandfather used to call them......fast sweet things.....things that everybody needs....his favorites were "you are the best fisherman" and "you give the best whisker rubs"......